Der Fernseher ist gesunken? Be precise, but put it simple

So-called stylistic errors are really about logical connections. People have all kinds of opinions on what is and is not good style (appropriate style for a given purpose would be a better aim), but where things get plain wrong, it can’t be good style. I’d like to share a passage from A Table Alphabeticall… with you:

Svch as by their place and calling, (but especially Preachers) as haue occasion to speak publiquely before the ignorant people, are to bee admonished, that they neuer affect any strange ynckhorne termes, but labour to speake so as is commonly receiued, and so as the most ignorant may well vnderstand them: neyther seeking to be ouer fine or curious, nor yet liuing ouer carelesse, vsing their speech, as most men doe, & ordering their wits, as the fewest haue done.
 (A Table Alphabeticall, conteyning and teaching the true writing, and vnderstanding of hard vsuall English wordes, borrowed from the Hebrew, Greeke, Latine, or French. &c. 1604)

This is something we should all pin to the walls above our writing desks. Organize your thoughts exceptionally well before you start, then write in ordinary language.

Many of us, however, produce nonsense. That’s nothing to be ashamed about, we have a right to produce nonsense every now and then. But you shouldn’t let your nonsense survive the proofreading stage. Here are some examples:

  1. Primarily, address forms became significantly longer. Whereas it consisted of two words at first it then changed into ten within 80 years.
  2. I argue that the origin of polysemy is due to using metaphor and metonym which is the most common cause for using it.
  3. Between 1900 and 1949 the OED lists 29 verbs related to drug use.
  4. Des Weiteren wird die These der verbundenen mentalen Lexika durch die Annahme begründet, dass Lexikoneinträge verschiedener Sprachen miteinander verbunden sind…
  5. Konkretisiert man dies, stößt man auf einen weiteren, noch sehr abstrakten Begriff […]. Hierbei handelt es sich um Perspektiven […].
  6. Es konnte gezeigt werden, dass selbstorganisiertes Arbeiten […] positive Auswirkungen […] haben dürfte.

You get the point, I hope. Here are two general hints:

  1. Watch out for the word it. Does it refer back to the last neuter singular NP in your text?
  2. In linguistics, make sure your words mean what you want them to mean. Did address forms really change into ten words? No. The length of address forms increased. Even that is not really true. The average length of the address forms in the letters included in the Corpus of Early English Correspondence increases from two to ten over a span of eighty years, according to this term paper. If that’s what you mean, say it like that. It’s not too technical. My students of German as a Foreign Language used to write things like Der Fernseher ist gesunken when they meant that The number of households with a TV-set decreased. I’m afraid there’s no simpler way of putting it. We need to be this precise.

The website of the Plain English Campaign says:

Imagine you are talking to your reader. Write sincerely, personally, in a style that is suitable and with the right tone of voice.

When you are talking to your reader, say exactly what you mean, using the simplest words that fit.

Your term paper is not going to be written in Plain English, of course. We want to see idiomatic academic English. But within that, “write personally” and “say exactly what you mean”. Read your term paper to a friend. If it’s too embarrassing, re-write in plain style. If your friend doesn’t understand a word of what you’re saying, explain it to them in your own words. And then use those words in writing as well.

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